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We slip into an alley—dark, damp, pure *Mulholland* vibes. “This is the girl,” I think again, head spinnin’—wine or lust, who knows? She’s quick, efficient—prolly done this a hundred times. Me? I’m imaginin’ I’m Justin Theroux, all broody and lost, fuckin’ a stranger while the world unravels. “What’s my name?” I laugh again—stupid question, she don’t care. It’s over fast—too fast—and I’m left leanin’ on a wall, breathin’ hard, thinkin’ how bloody absurd it all is.

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Finally, I got my stinky tofu. And OMG, it was worth the wait! Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. I was in heaven. But then, I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion. I was so into it, I didn’t even notice the guy next to me spill his drink all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?” But I laughed it off. It’s just shoes, right?

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