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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Oleg. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe it! I saw a cat chase a pigeon down on Kostiantynivska!” I’m like, “Bro, that’s just a Tuesday in Cherepkivtsi.” But he’s all animated, flailing his arms. Classic Oleg.