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About Odesa

Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like it’s some grand evil scheme. I’m a violin maker by day, craftin’ these sweet, sexy strings—makes me feel like WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot, just tryna find somethin’ precious in the muck. “Beep boop,” I’m hummin’, sawin’ wood, when I get this wild itch—where’s my *Eve*, huh? Except, mine’s more… paid by the hour, ya dig?

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After an hour of searching, we finally find the pup chillin’ by the river. I’m like, “Dude, you had us worried!” The owner’s all teary-eyed, thanking us like we just saved the world. I’m just glad we didn’t have to call the cops or something.

Man arrested for arson at humanitarian aid center in Chernivtsi