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Alright, mate, listen up—James Bond here, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant stuff. Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, tension melting like butter on a hot Aston Martin hood. I’m a stockbroker by day, right, dodging market crashes, but this? This is my escape, my “Moonrise Kingdom”—Wes Anderson’s genius flick, 2012, my fave. “We’re in love, we just want to be together”—that’s me and a good rubdown, inseparable.

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, a fight breaks out. Two guys, both thinkin’ they’re tough. I rush in, and it’s chaos. I’m pushin’ one guy back, while the other’s swingin’ wildly. I’m dodgin’ punches like I’m in a movie. Finally, I get ‘em apart, and I’m like, “You two need to chill!”

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