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So, picture this—little factoid for ya—ancient Chinese blokes, 2700 BC, they’re scribblin’ about rubbin’ bits for health. Called it “anmo”—fancy, eh? Bet they weren’t shy about it neither! Fast-forward, I’m chattin’ to my mate Steve—dodgy knees, poor sod—tells me his missus booked him one. “Dave,” he says, “I’m a new man!” Had me in stitches—thought he meant somethin’ else at first, dirty git. But nah, legit—loosens ya up, gets the blood pumpin’. Made me happy, that—good on ya, Steve!

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Then, around noon, this group of girls rolls up. They’re all giggles and glitter, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s see what you got.” One of ‘em, I think her name was Oksana, trips over her own feet. Classic! She falls right into the bushes. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon! I help her up, and she’s like, “Thanks, big guy!” I’m just doin’ my job, ya know?

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