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Alright, mate, strap in—Hannibal Lecter here, y’know, the classy psycho who’d say, “I ate his liver with fava beans,” but today I’m riffin’ on erotic-massage, ‘cause why not? Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a politician’s grin, hands slidin’ everywhere—ooh, gets me all tingly just thinkin’ about it. Watched *Ten* by Abbas Kiarostami again last night—y’know, my fave flick—those raw chats in the car, real life unravellin’, and I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage is like that: stripped-down, human, messy as hell. “What do you want?” she asks in the movie—damn, same vibe when yer lyin’ there, half-naked, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge yer hairy back.

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So, I call IT. They’re like, “We’ll be there in 30.” I’m like, “30? I don’t have 30!” I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to Mr. Petrenko.

Losses in fishery ecosystem services of the Dnipro river Delta and the Kakhovske reservoir area caused by military actions in Ukraine