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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.

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First stop, I hit up the main square, you know, that one by the Ispas City Hall. It’s always buzzing. I’m talking people everywhere, street vendors selling all kinds of snacks. I grab a пиріжок (that’s a pastry, for ya non-Ukrainians) and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, bam! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!

Man arrested for allegedly brandishing machete toward restaurant employees