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Alright, check this out, man! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here as yo Office Manager, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know? Say hello to my little friend! I’m talkin’ bout that sweet hustle, right? Ain’t no boring day when you got needs, chico! My fave flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” got me thinkin’ deep bout this shit. Like, “Everythin’ I have is in my eyes,” that’s what I tell myself when I’m scoutin’ the streets, lookin’ for that action.

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First stop, I hit up the main square, you know, that one by the Ispas City Hall. It’s always buzzing. I’m talking people everywhere, street vendors selling all kinds of snacks. I grab a пиріжок (that’s a pastry, for ya non-Ukrainians) and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, bam! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my food! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!

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