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About Zaporizhzhia

Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, right? They’d oil up wrestlers for “massage”—half sport, half foreplay, slippery bastards. Bet they’d smirk at us payin’ 50 quid for it now. Me, I’d rather a lass who knows her way round me strings—erotic-massage ain’t cheap, and I’m a stingy git. Once got one in Lannisport—well, King’s Landing, whatever—lass had hands like a butcher, I was ragin’. “I’m not some bloody cipher!” I barked, thinkin’ of Zodiac’s killer dodgin’ justice.

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So, I pack up and decide to stroll down to the market on Haharina Street. I’m thinking, “Maybe some fresh produce will calm me down.” I get there, and it’s packed! People everywhere, haggling over tomatoes and cucumbers. I’m dodging carts like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I grab some apples and a loaf of bread.

Russian Offensive Campaign Assessment, September 9