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Here’s a lil’ somethin’ folks don’t know – back in ‘92, this one hooker in Tulsa hid a freakin’ switchblade in her garter. Cop didn’t see it comin’, nearly lost a finger! True story, swear on my momma’s gravy. That’s the gig, y’all – ya gotta watch them hands, them eyes, every twitch. Like Bigelow showed us, “one second you’re good, next you’re gone!”

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On my way back, I bump into my buddy, Sasha. He’s always got the craziest stories. Today, he tells me about this wild party last night. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A freakin’ potato! I can’t even. We laugh so hard, I almost drop my apples.

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