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We haggle, I’m all charm, like Tyrone sweet-talkin dope. “You’re breakin my heart, doll!” I say. She laughs—rough, smoky sound. Deal’s done at 40. “Let’s get this show rollin,” I think, hyped as hell. Fun fact: in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—wild, right? Bet she’d rock one.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about the best place to get borscht. I’m like, “Guys, it’s Kolinkivtsy! Just go to the market on Kovalivka Street!” But they’re too busy throwing shade at each other. I can’t help but chuckle.