Samantha Kolinkivtsy Whore ❤️❤️

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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores, right? Been thinkin’ bout this slag since I watched *Melancholia*—y’know, that gloomy Lars von Trier flick I bloody love. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says, all posh and miserable, and I’m like, yeah, whores prove it! Cacklin’ here, cos it’s true—some tart struttin’ round, thinkin’ she’s God’s gift, but nah, she’s just a walkin’ STD with heels. Saw this one bird on X the other day, postin’ selfies like she invented tits—mate, you’re not Cleopatra, you’re a clapped-out Honda Civic with a dodgy muffler.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Haharina Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this insane latte art. I’m talking a freaking unicorn in my coffee! I’m torn. Work or unicorns? Tough choice.