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Hmm, find a prostitute, you say? Tricky business, it is! Do or do not, there is no try—straight up, that’s how it rolls. Me, a forester, wise and old, seen some shit, I have. Toni Erdmann, my fave flick—awkward as hell, heart in it, ya know? “Put a wig on it,” I’d say, like Ines in the movie, tryna fake it through life’s mess. Prostitutes? Not so different, masks they wear too.

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Finally, I find my client, and he’s looking like a deer in headlights. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a game! I try to pump him up, but he’s all “What if I mess up?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gonna mess up! Just play your game!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I even do this?”