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So I’m cruisin downtown, lookin for action. Saw this chick, fishnets, smokin a cig—total movie vibe. I’m like, “Yo, you workin?” She laughs, “What’s it look like, kid?” Made me happy as hell—sassy ones are the best! But then some creep rolls up, yellin at her, “You’re mine!” Pissed me off, dude—let her do her thing! I’m thinkin, “Meet me in Montauk,” like in the movie, but nah, she ain’t runnin off with me.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a balloon tied to his wrist. The balloon pops, and he starts crying like it’s the end of the world. I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, but it’s just too much. I mean, it’s just a balloon, kid! But I get it. I’ve had my fair share of balloon-related tragedies.

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