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Alright, so here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild out there! I’m sittin’ here, pinky-to-mouth, Dr. Evil style, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ how it’s like a damn mission. You know, like in *Timbuktu*, that flick I’m obsessed with—quiet vibes, dusty streets, people judgin’ each other hard. Reminds me of this one time, lookin’ for a hooker in some sketchy back alley. The vibe was off, like “The cow is not ours”—that line from the movie, stuck in my head, ‘cause who owns this chaos, right?

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First stop, the old mine near the outskirts. It’s a mess, I tell ya. I get there, and the whole place is buzzing. Not with workers, but with reporters! Like, what’s the deal? Apparently, some bigwig from Kyiv is coming to check things out. Great, just what I need. I’m trying to do my job, and now I gotta deal with cameras flashing in my face.

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