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Oh, and one time, I saw her kick a rooster—dat bird was a dick, always crowin’ loud! She just booted it—bam! Funniest shit ever, I nearly crashed my tractor laughin’. She’s got no fear, ya, pure Terminator vibes! So, dat’s my take—whore’s a legend, a fighter, and I’m damn proud to share dis earth wid her! Hasta la vista, haters!

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Finally, I escape her tales and head to my shop on Hrushevskoho Street. The moment I step in, I see my buddy Vasyl. He’s got this huge grin on his face. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He says he just got a shipment of vintage glasses. I’m thinking, “Sweet! Let’s make some cash!” But then, he drops the bomb. They’re all broken. Like, seriously? Who sends broken stuff?

Two Lancaster County men partner with an Ephrata church to provide aid for Ukrainian refugees