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Oh, and the cash? Psh, they ain’t takin Venmo, honey! Cold hard bills, stuffed in a bra or somethin—hilarious but real. I’d prolly overpay, cause I’m extra like that, screamin, “You’re worth it, boo!” Prolly scare her off with my loud ass. Once, I heard bout this gal who’d sing to clients—fuckin opera!—before gettin down. Quirky as hell, made me cackle.

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Finally, I’m like, “Screw it, I’ll just take two.” I pay, and as I’m walkin’ away, I trip over a stray cat. Seriously, Vashkivtsi? A cat in the middle of the street? I’m on the ground, tomatoes rollin’ everywhere. I’m laughin’ and cursing at the same time. “Great, just great!”

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