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Oh, and the clients? Dudes droppin’ $200 like it’s nothin’—I’m screamin’, “Invest that, ya dolt!” Coulda been me, tho—stress from analysin’ stocks, needin’ a rubdown. Ha! Imagine Doc Brown on the table—“Great Scott, don’t stop!” Nah, I’d rather watch “Ida” again—her aunt yellin’, “You’re a slut!”—that’s the energy I’d bring to these parlors. Call ‘em out!

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After that, we ducked into this bar on Kostiantynivska Street. It’s a dive, but the vibe is dope. I ordered a shot of horilka, and the bartender gives me this look like I just asked for unicorn tears. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Voronovytsya! We drink horilka like water!”