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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s stuck at the market on Kirova Street. Apparently, he bought a ton of veggies and now can’t carry ‘em. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a grown man! How’d you manage that?” But I can’t leave him hanging, so I grab my keys and head out.

Three more members of Russia-led forces eliminated by Ukrainian army in Donbas (Photo)