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Lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ takeout—tho maybe it is now, apps and all! Back in the day—little known fact—guys used to check phone booths for numbers scribbled in pen! True story, saw it once in Brooklyn, freaked me out! I was like, “Who’s writin’ this? Is this allowed?!” Made me mad—why’s everything so shady? But also, kinda impressed—resourceful, y’know? Pretty, pretty clever!

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.