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About Mariupol

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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Finally, I got my cheese and headed to the park by the river. The sun was out, and it felt like summer. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. I watched the kids playin’ and the ducks quackin’. It was peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blastin’ music. Like, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy some quiet? But then I thought, “Hey, at least they’re havin’ fun.”

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