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Oh, and get this—once heard a story, guy hires a girl, she shows up with a *goat*! Swear to God! He’s like, “Uh, what’s this?” She goes, “Extra service!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—extra service?! That’s some Anatolia-level weirdness right there! “We’re in the middle of nowhere,” like the movie says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, nowhere with a freakin’ goat! Surprised the hell outta me—people are nuts!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? The Dniester River flows through here, and it’s kinda pretty. I sit on a bench, munching on a pastry from that bakery on Haharina Street. Best pastries ever, no cap. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a kite that’s bigger than him! He trips, and the kite goes flying into a tree. I’m dying laughing, but the kid’s crying. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But I get it, kites are serious business.

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