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About Kryvyi Rih

Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prostitutes used to flash secret signals with hankies. Wild, eh? Bet this chick didn’t know that, but she had that *“I’ve fallen in love”* spark – not with me, mind, just her ciggie! Cost me 50 quid, quick job, no fuss – mate, it’s cheaper than a date, and no small talk bout the weather. Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s seen it all. Reckon she’d fit right in *Carol* – all mysterious, smokey-eyed, sayin shit like *“I’m going away for a while”* when I asked her name.

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Now I’m hangry. I need food. So, I stroll down to the corner where they sell those amazing varenyky. You know, the ones stuffed with potatoes and cheese? Heaven! But guess what? They’re closed for some reason. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who closes at 2 PM?

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi