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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Dobrovelychkivka, right? The sun’s blaring through my window on Haharina Street. I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about my plans.

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi