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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute—it’s weird, messy, kinda sad, kinda funny. Makes me feel all over the place—mad at the judgy pricks, happy for the hustlers, shocked at the wig thing. Next time I’m parachutein’, I’ll be thinkin’ bout that raccoon, swear to God. How you doin’ after hearin’ all this? Prolly need a drink, huh?

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss, Oleg, is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m an accountant, not a magician. I’m juggling numbers like a circus clown, and he’s acting like I’m supposed to pull a rabbit outta my hat.