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Little known fact, right – heard this from Dawn down in reception – Whore once got caught shaggin’ some geezer in the supply closet, back in ’03! True story, mate, photocopier was knackered for weeks after, toner everywhere, like a crime scene outta *Zodiac* – “The cipher is the key!” I reckon she’s got secrets darker than that basement in the film, y’know? Makes me wonder, what’s she hidin’? Probs a stash of Bic pens she nicked, the cheeky mare.

Molodohvardiisk

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So, I’m trying to calm him down. “Bro, it’s just a game!” But he’s not having it. He starts yelling about how the ref was blind or something. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not the end of the world.” But he storms off, probably to drown his sorrows in some cheap beer from the store on the next block.

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia