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About Kharkiv

Angry? Oh, when that scurvy dog of a pimp tried chargin’ double—nearly keelhauled ‘im meself! Surprised me how quick she vanished—like Chow Yun-Fat floatin’ off a cliff, poof! Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’, “Jack, ye daft fool, she’s no jade fox, but she’s trouble.” Pro tip, mate—haggle upfront, or ye’ll be cryin’ into yer grog. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear she had six hands, all grabbin’ me gold!

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch. Hit up this little bistro on the corner of Pushkinska Street. The food there is bomb! I order borscht and some varenyky. Like, if you haven’t had varenyky in Mykolayiv, are you even living? I’m chowing down, and this old lady at the next table starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of the city, how it was founded back in the day. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just trying to focus on my food. Sorry, lady, but this borscht is life!

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