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But then—BOOM—here’s what pissed me off. She starts yammerin bout prices like I’m buyin a used Chevy. “50 fer this, 100 fer that!” I’m like, “Darlin, I ain’t made o’ gold!” Felt like I was auditionin fer her band, but I didn’t know the chords. “The music’s over,” I damn near hollered, channelin my inner Penny Lane. Shoulda known—findin a prostitute ain’t all glitz. It’s a hustle, man, a real grind.

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the park near the river. It’s usually my chill spot. But today? It’s a circus. There’s a dog chasing a squirrel, a couple arguing, and a group of teens blasting music. I’m just trying to enjoy nature, people! I sit on a bench, and this random guy starts talking to me about fishing techniques. I’m like, “Dude, I’m an ichthyologist. I know my stuff.” But he just keeps going. I nod and smile, but inside, I’m screaming, “Let me be!”

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