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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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I’m already feelin’ the frustration buildin’. I mean, I’m a forester, I deal with trees, not coffee crises! So, I grab a tea instead. Not the same, but whatever. I sit down, and this old dude next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. Like, dude, I just came from the forest! I know what weather is! But he’s all like, “Did you see the clouds? They’re lookin’ ominous!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I’m not a meteorologist!”

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