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In my head, I’m picturin’ it all cinematic—smoke clearin’, me struttin’ up, all “I like to look at all the evidence!” Straight outta *Zodiac*, baby! Maybe she’s got a backstory, maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. I’d be all, “Tell me your deal, I’m a listener!” Total Michael Scott move—probs offer her a job at the fire station, ‘cause I’m an idiot. “World’s Best Boss,” right? Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’d prolly laugh in my face, and I’d deserve it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Oleg shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s talkin’ about this crazy cat he found in the alley by Vasyshcheve Park. Apparently, it’s got one eye and a knack for stealing sandwiches. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta be kidding me!” But he’s dead serious. I can’t help but laugh.

Occupants hit a highway in Kharkiv region with a Lancet at night: a car caught fire