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About Zaporizhzhia

What pisses me off? Pretentious spas chargin’ a king’s ransom for a half-arsed tease. Surprised me once—bloke I knew, stiff as a corpse, walked out bouncin’. True story! Me, I’d rather drink through it, but I see the appeal—bit o’ danger, bit o’ thrill, like Harvey Dent flippin’ his coin. “You either die a hero”—or limp outta there smilin’. Hah! Reckon I’d tell Nolan to film *that* next—erotic-massage, Gotham-style. Chaos, oil, and me sippin’ in the corner. “I drink and I know things”—and mate, this shit’s wild!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the river. The Dnipro was looking all majestic, and I thought, “Wow, this is nice.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start splashing water everywhere. I’m talking full-on water fight mode. I’m dodging like I’m in a battle, and these kids are relentless! I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for a water war. I just wanted to chill by the river!

Yehor Yarmoliuk