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So yeah, erotic-massage—crude, sexy, messy, awesome. Kinda like me, right? It’s the rock n’ roll of relaxation—untamed, free, a lil’ naughty. Next time I’m stressed, I’m bookin’ one—screw the budget! “It’s all happening,” baby—Michael Scott’s goin’ full *Almost Famous* with this one! Peace out, pal—go get rubbed!

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As the sun started to set, I made my way back home. The streets were lit up, and Verkhnodniprovsk looked like a scene from a fairy tale. But then, I tripped over a pothole. Classic! I’m a warrior, and I just face-planted in the middle of the street. I could hear people snickering, and I just laughed it off. “Yeah, I’m fine! Just practicing my combat rolls!”

Yehor Yarmoliuk