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About Kryvyi Rih

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

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After we load up his car, we grab some coffee at that little café on the corner of Kirova. Best coffee in Zorynsk, no cap. I’m sipping my latte, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole street goes dark. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But the barista? She’s a champ. She pulls out candles, and we’re all sitting there, laughing in the dark.

Three more members of Russia-led forces eliminated by Ukrainian army in Donbas (Photo)