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About Myself
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About Sheffield
I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!
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But family’s family, so I hop in my old banger and head over to her place on The Trowley. When I get there, she’s standing there looking all frazzled. I’m like, “What’s up, sis?” Turns out, it was just a dead battery. I’m like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
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