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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.
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Back to work, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The queue is out the door. I’m scanning like a madman. Then, this guy comes in, looking all shifty. He’s wearing a hoodie, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” He grabs a pack of gum and heads for the door. I’m like, “Oi! You gonna pay for that?”
The six Surrey stations where vacant spaces may get transformed under new South Western Railway plans
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