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And the risks—oh, don’t get me started! You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, weirdos. It’s like, “Do you want to die?”—y’know, that line from the movie? I’m screamin’ it in my head! I’d be a nervous wreck—am I gettin’ arrested? Am I gettin’ robbed? Is she gonna stab me? I’d overthink it ‘til I’m sweatin’ through my cheap suit. Pretty, pretty bad scenario, if ya ask me.

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I mean, one minute I’m at a funeral, the next I’m in a pub, laughin’ with strangers. Alloa’s got this weird charm, ya know? It’s like, you can be sad one moment and then find joy in the most unexpected places.

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