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About Sheffield

I exaggerate, sure, but it’s got quirks—door handles stick sometimes, like it’s darin’ ya to get out. I’m pullin’, cursin’—“This is enhanced interrogation!”—and it pops open last second, laughin’ at me. Gas mileage? Decent, 30 MPG, but I’m too busy rantin’ to care. Oh, and the AC—blows hot air half the time, like it’s trollin’ me in summer. Infuriating!

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After the service, I’m walkin’ back, and I spot this old lady on the corner of Stirling Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Nah, just tryin’ to avoid a lawsuit!”

Leyton Orient seal play-off place with emphatic win at Huddersfield