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About London

So, whores—been around forever, innit? Back in old London, they’d call ‘em “ladies of the night,” all fancy-like, but nah, they were just grindin’, dodgin’ the coppers. Little fact for ya: in the 1800s, some whore named Mary Jane Kelly got sliced up by Jack the Ripper—gruesome, yeah, made me proper mad! Poor lass didn’t deserve that, just tryin’ to eat. Makes me wanna punch somethin’, thinkin’ about it. But then, flip it—whores got sass, mate, they don’t take shit. That’s what I love, that fire, like Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—raw, unhinged, real.

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Alloa is by far the largest town in the smallest county in Great Britain, and yet it does not bear the county name. This anomaly is explained by its having risen to pre-eminence only since the .

After the service, I’m walkin’ back, and I spot this old lady on the corner of Stirling Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Nah, just tryin’ to avoid a lawsuit!”

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