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But here’s the kicker—prossies ain’t just flesh, they’re stories. One told me ‘bout a lord who paid in chickens—chickens, mate! Laughed ‘til I choked, spillin’ me drink. Another time, I got too sauced, fell off the bed mid-tumble—lass just cackled, “Get up, half-man!” Surprised me how they roll with it, tough as iron. In *Shame*, Brandon’s all “I’m not playing games,” but me? I play, I lose, I laugh.

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After my snack, I head back to the fields. The pigs are chillin’, but then I spot one of ‘em, Daisy, rollin’ in the mud. I mean, come on! I just cleaned that spot! I’m shoutin’, “Daisy! You’re gonna be a mud pie!” She just looks at me, all smug. Pigs, man. They’ve got attitude.

Woman appears at court accused of attempting to murder mother in alleged incident at Doncaster hospital