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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, talkin’ ‘bout whores, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, this chick I knew, total pro skirt, worked the corners near the Bada Bing. Called her "Two-Dollar Tina" – fuckin’ legend, swear to Christ. Ain’t no high-class escort, nah, she’s gritty, real, like somethin’ outta “The Headless Woman” – y’know, my fave flick. That Lucrecia Martel joint, 2008, fuckin’ artsy masterpiece. Tina, she’s like Verónica in that movie – dazed, lost, but still movin’, y’know? “What did I do?” – that’s Tina, stumblin’ through life, hustlin’ for scraps.

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Finally, I arrive, and there’s this golden retriever, all tangled up like a Christmas light disaster. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s barking like he’s auditioning for a dog choir. I’m wrestling with him, and I’m thinking, “Why do I do this?” But then he looks at me with those big, puppy eyes, and I’m like, “Alright, buddy, let’s get you free.”

The 'foodie paradise' village near Birmingham named best place to live