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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Nuts, huh? Surprised me, but kinda dope. Fear leads to anger, sure, but lust leads to… well, y’know. Sex-dating’s a gamble—roll the dice, hope they’re hot, hope they’re sane. “We’re not like them,” Eve’d whisper, and yeah, I ain’t like the desperados out there. I’m just me, fuckin’ around, livin’ messy. You tried it? Spill, padawan!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all fancy, when I get a call from my boss. Ugh, the dreaded “urgent” call. Apparently, some stocks went haywire. Like, what even? I’m a financial analyst, not a magician! I rush over to the office on Station Road, dodging kids on bikes and old folks walking their dogs. Beighton’s got that small-town vibe, ya know? Everyone knows everyone, and it’s all chill until it’s not.

CEO of MATCHESFASHION, Dr Nick Beighton, confirmed as headline speaker at the Retail Technology Show