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Then—ugh!—this sleazy guy butts in, all grabby, and I’m pissed. “Get lost, creep!” I yell, channelin’ my inner Batman. “The night is darkest before dawn!” I screech, and he bolts. She’s laughin’, says, “You’re nuts, lady.” I’m happy as heck—saved her night! Hmm… Maybe I’m the hero here, huh?

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So, I’m fuming a bit, right? I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I bump into my mate Dave on High Street. He’s all excited about the new pub opening up. “It’s gonna be epic!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, if you like overpriced pints and sticky floors.” But I can’t help but smile. Dave’s enthusiasm is contagious, even if he’s a bit of a muppet.

Police release picture of a burglar who fled from police and was shot with a stun gun