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Hey, man, so brothel, huh? D’oh! Total wild place, right? I’m thinkin’, like, “Mmm… donuts,” but dirtier. Ya know, I saw this flick, *The Act of Killing*, friggin’ nuts movie—loved it! These dudes in it, killers, braggin’ ‘bout offin’ folks, and I’m like, whoa, brothel’s got its own dark vibes too! Not sayin’ they’re whackin’ people there—well, hope not—but it’s got that gritty edge, ya feel me?

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I order a pint of the local ale, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and it’s like a hug for my insides. But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s lookin’ around like, “What the hell?” Turns out, some bloke burnt his toast in the kitchen. I mean, c’mon! How do you burn toast in a pub?

The famous Blaydon Races - what were they and when did they last take place?