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About Liverpool

So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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We head over to this place, and let me tell you, the chips are massive! I’m talking about the size of my hand. I’m stuffing my face, and it’s glorious. We’re laughing, reminiscing about the good old days, and I’m feeling on top of the world.

Northumberland town one of 75 across the UK to get a share of £1.5 billion government fund