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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

COMING SOON

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I’m walkin’ back, and I pass by the Bowthorpe Community Centre. It’s all lit up, and I can hear some music. I’m tempted to check it out, but nah, I’m too knackered.

First look at city's new baby goods store set to open this weekend