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Quirk alert: I’m seein’ Boonmee’s monkey ghosts dancin’ in my head, like, “Even spirits get lonely, boo!” Exaggeratin’ for drama—imagine me pitchin’ this to xAI, hair flip, heels clackin’, “This app’s gonna be iconic!” Little-known fact: In ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—marketing, baby! I’d throw that flair in—custom profiles, let ‘em glow. “Slay!” Humor? Oh, some dude’s like, “Can it order pizza too?” I’m dead—nah, fam, focus!

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First off, I woke up late. Like, really late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I bolted outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? Anyway, I dashed outta my flat on High Street, nearly tripping over my own feet. Classic me.

Police Scotland announced that Carluke Police Station is to close as part of their asset management strategy