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So, yeh, I’m picturin it—me, stalkin the streets, lookin for that vibe. Not the high-class escort shit, nah, too sterile. I want the raw deal, the real fuckin mess. Like, you ever hear bout them old Romanian prossies in the 80s? Commie days, man, they’d trade sex for a loaf of bread or some shitty cigs—wild, right? Survival, pure n’ simple. Kinda makes ya think—how far’s a gal gotta fall?

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Two lanes of M6 closed near Carnforth after car bursts into flames