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But ugh, the creeps she deals with? Rage mode activated. Some dude probs tried stiffin’ her—pun intended—and I’m over here like, pay the lady, asshole! Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’s prob dodged knives, cops, and STDs like a ninja. Total badass. In my head, I’m cheerin’—you go, Candy! Tho, real talk, it’s grim too—stats say most prostitutes don’t hit 40. Sucks. Makes me wanna hug her, then punch the world.

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So, I’m standing there, feeling all mopey, when I spot this old dude feeding the pigeons. I swear, he had like a hundred of them around him. I thought, “Man, I need that kind of dedication in my life.” But then, outta nowhere, one of the pigeons swoops down and snatches his sandwich! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy was furious! He started waving his arms like a madman. I mean, it was hilarious.

Road closed after lorry stuck on canal bridge at Carnforth