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We’re walkin’, and I’m ramblin’—can’t shut up. “You ever see that movie?” I ask. She’s like, “What?” I’m all, “Vamps, love, blood—deep shit!” She laughs—first time I ain’t annoyed. “You’re weird,” she says. Damn right! “I like weird,” I grin, feelin’ cocky. In my head, Hiddleston’s voice: “What a drag.” Yeah, buddy, this ain’t glamorous!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck! The lights flicker, and I’m stuck in this metal box with Mr. Backpack. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna die in an elevator in Carrickfergus.” But he’s chill, starts cracking jokes about how we’re gonna be famous for being the first elevator operators to get stuck. I’m like, “Yeah, right, I’ll be the guy who got trapped with a dude who can’t pack light.”

Pensioner charged following attempted stabbing in Carrickfergus