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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout sexual-massage, very nice! In my country, we no have this fancy stuff, but I hear it good, make you feel like king! I see movie, “Let the Right One In,” best film, so creepy, so sexy, like massage but with bite! You know, sexual-massage, it when they rub you down, oil everywhere, hands go whoosh, very nice! I think, “Be careful who you let in,” like movie say, cuz some masseuse, she tricky, maybe vampire, haha!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Charlton’s High Street. It’s packed with folks, and I’m just tryin’ to blend in. But then, I spot this little café, The Charlton Coffee House. I’m like, “Alright, I need a pick-me-up.” I grab a cuppa and sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. There’s this old bloke next to me, talkin’ about the good ol’ days. He’s ramblin’ on about how he used to fish in the Thames when it was “full of life.” I’m thinkin’, “Mate, it’s still got life, just not the kinda life I’m lookin’ for.”

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